Before you go out and start shopping and get yourself in all kinds of trouble with your girlfriend or wife and end up not having sex for weeks just like last Christmas, I’m going to help you out and tell you the things not to buy her for Christmas.
These are tried and true formulas of gifts to stay away from, so print this out and take it with you. You can thank me later by buying me a gift that is not on this list.
1. A vacuum cleaner. Even if she has been kicking and screaming about how horrible her vacuum is and yelling that if she has to clean the living room rug one more time with a lint roller she is going to kill everyone she sees, DO NOT buy her a vacuum for Christmas. She will give you a look of death and maybe start throwing things, and things will go downhill from there.
2. Any other type of cleaning appliance or supply. Just stay away from anything related to household chores. Get her anything like that and you are basically telling her that she needs to clean more. This is a very very very bad idea.
3. A giant stuffed animal.
Unless she has specifically asked for one, do not go the giant stuffed animal route. A small one, if she’s into that, is fine, but a giant one is creepy and expensive and you really should have spent the money on jewels or clothing or wine or at least gift cards.
via DJmick
4. Movies or tv shows on dvd that you love. This is known as the Fishing Pole Rule. You will not fool her for a second that this gift is not really for yourself and she will be angry and hurt that you thought more about yourself than her. This then leads to the No Sex For Weeks Rule, which I know you don’t want.
5. An empty strawberry piñata. Okay, this one you maybe would have never even thought of, but let me tell you that it has been thought of before, and been given as a gift by a guy to his wife, and it did not go well. Even if the strawberry piñata had been filled with candy, this would have been a bad gift. So, no piñatas.